Looking for something more substantial than flowers and chocolates this Valentines’s Day? What about better communication?

These 3 reminders from Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages can help improve communication with all your relationships.

Become metaphorically multilingual*:

• If we speak only our primary language and encounter someone else who speaks only his or her primary language, which is different from ours, our communication will be limited….If we are to communicate effectively…we must learn the language of those with whom we wish to communicate. (p. 14)

* The Enneagram teaches us that there are nine distinct ways of feeling, thinking, acting and doing. Learning how each of the nine types communicates is like learning to speak nine different languages.

Let it go:

• I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. (p. 44)

• Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a commitment. (p.44)

Talk less, listen more:

• Refuse to interrupt. Recent research has indicated that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting and interjecting his own ideas. If I give you my undivided attention while you are talking….My objective is not to defend myself or to set you straight. It is to understand you.  (p. 64)

Whether you are at work or home, with colleagues or loved ones, putting these words of wisdom into action will go a long way to developing and maintaining excellent communication and strong, vibrant relationships.